Hopefully, for my own sanity’s sake, I’ll be completely over and done with these hate-filled, ridiculous blog posts some day.
But today is not one of those days.
For those that know me in real life, you are [probably] well aware that I put up with absolutely zero bullshit. Don’t even try – you will not succeed. I think that comes from all the years that I was a pushover to men. If someone liked me, paid me the slightest bit of attention, I was all mush and a fucking doormat. When my ex and I broke up, I sacked up [to use a masculine term] and started with a no-nonsense approach to men*.
When it comes to guys I encounter in my life now, do one thing wrong and you’re out. I don’t have time for your excuses, your bullshit, whatever it is. Just don’t even try to fuck with me. I’m not having it.
It’s just weird that, a year and a half after our break-up, my ex is still giving me bullshit. Sort of indirectly. But I’d really like him to disappear – poof – into the wind, never to be heard from again. Alas…this won’t happen**.
So, with no-bullshit attitude I have, even the smallest things just set me off. Hey, maybe it’s the hormones*** – but who really knows. Either way, he pissed me off tonight…and didn’t even have to try very hard.
I was reading the Facebook wall of a mutual friend of ours, and I saw the ex had recently posted something. But I couldn’t click on his name, and couldn’t see his picture – though I could still see his name and what he wrote. I know he had de-friended me back in the spring [which was really a blessing, actually], but this now meant he had blocked me. There is no way for me to search for him, message him, see our mutual friends – nothing. Not that I want to, but seriously – what was the point of him blocking me? Had I done anything wrong to him? Had I emailed or otherwise contacted him or his fiancee at any point since he told me he was engaged in January? No, I had not. I left him completely alone. HE is the one who wanted to be friends, and keep in touch, and all that bullshit. I have a feeling, though, that he got the hint that I didn’t feel the same say when he possibly read the Facebook event I made celebrating the year anniversary of me getting rid of “the douchebag toolbag ex who none of my friends and family liked anyway.” It was shortly after this event was published that I noticed we were no longer “friends.”
Whatever. Just…fuck you, dude. FUCK YOU. I’m trying to move on with my life and not be so mad at the way you basically lead me on to think you really loved me, just to get me to move to Boston, pay half the bills, cook and clean, have sex once a week [at most - you know, whenever you wanted to], and betray me the way you did. And YOU have the gall to block ME! I’d block you back, but I don’t give a SHIT what you think about me. Hell, I’d let you see my whole fucking profile, just to make sure you know how much happier I am and how much better my life is without you.
But I’m pretty sure you already know.
One more thing: I pray to God that you won’t be moving to DC next year after you graduate, because that is my plan. If I see you around Capitol Hill, I may not be able to keep my right hook from connecting with your face. Just a heads up.
FOOTNOTES:
* And dating – which may be why I’m still single, almost a year and a half later. Regardless.
** …yet. He does have a serious blood disease where he basically has no immune system. So, should the apocalypse come, he’d be one of the first to die…ooh, is that too cruel?
*** I am about 5 days out from my period – and I do have a history of depression, which I believe exacerbates my PMS to a point just shy of homicidal rage towards men.
