Fuck Rhode Island.

You know, I’m a fairly easy-going girl. I like most things, and will at least try to like most things. But when I hate something, I hate with the fire of a thousand suns.

And I hate Rhode Island.

Basically, every aspect of Rhode Island, and everyone who lives in it, sucks. I regret that I feel this way, since my state shares a border with crummy RI, and I must traverse this tiny, insignificant state whenever I go visit my Mom. I had to drive through it today on my way to Washington, DC for July 4th. Every minute was horrible. HORRIBLE!

Perhaps I should pinpoint the reasons why I hate Rhode Island so much:

1) I left Massachusetts today and as I crossed the border into Rhode Island, it started pouring rain. And not just regular “pouring rain,” it was dumping buckets so hard I couldn’t see in front of me. So there I was, travelling down I-95, the odometer barely creeping up to 30 mph, hazards blinking, straining to see the road signs, yelling “HOLY FUCK” at constant intervals. This went on for half an hour. Needless to say, it wasn’t pretty. FUCK RHODE ISLAND and its crappy weather.

2) Rhode Islanders drive like douchebags. Now, if any of you aren’t from the Northeast, you probably think we’re alldouchebags when we’re behind the wheel of a car. Not true. A “Masshole” is very different from a stupid Rhode Islander. A Masshole thinks his agenda is the most important agenda of everyone on the highway, and will make you feel like an idiot for delaying his arrival to meet his friend at Dunkin’ Donuts, or wherever the fuck he’s going, by speeding past you and maybe cutting you off. A stupid Rhode Islander simply can’t drive — first they tailgate endlessly, then operate their vehicles like they’re having epileptic seizures, and scare the shit out of you. Why, Rhode Islanders? Why can’t you just back the fuck off and chill the fuck out? Because you suck. So FUCK RHODE ISLAND and its crappy drivers.

3) I needed to take a bathroom break, and I was right near Warwick, RI. Not thinking anything of it, I exited the highway and found the nearest fast food joint, used the facilities, and expected to jump right back on the highway. Nope. Wouldn’t you expect the southbound entrance to I-95 to be near where you got off the highway originally? I sure would. But apparently no one in the great state of Rhode Island got that memo. They make you drive all through their crappy town, get stuck at stoplights, and tailgated by their stupid residents, and twenty minutes later you finally stumble upon the highway, miles and miles away from where you got off. Why?? It makes absolutely no sense to me. So FUCK RHODE ISLAND and its illogical highway construction.

Hmm, I’m on a roll here! Well, I am done with reasons why I hate Rhode Island for now, but there are other things I hate:

1) I hate people who go the speed limit in the passing lane [also called the fast lane, or left lane]. It’s called the “passing” lane for a reason — you should be passing the cars to the right of you, not the other way around. Assholes.

2) I hate people who brake on the highway. If you have to brake because the person in front of you slowed down, that means you’re too close. Back the fuck off. Douchebags.

3) I hate New Jersey. Actually, for many of the same reasons I hate Rhode Island. The one redeeming factor is the Jersey Turnpike — like a not-quite-drunk-enough guy screwing an ugly chick, I can get in and out fast.

4) I hate clowns. They creep the shit out of me.

All this hating has made me tired. [Yawn] Good night!

37 responses to “Fuck Rhode Island.

  1. You never cease to amaze me.

    • rhode Islander

      heres an idea if you don’t like it here, DON”T FUCKING COME HERE CUNT. By the way we drive like assholes around non-rhode islanders to make you leave.

    • fuck you you fucking stupid hipster

      I’m only going to address one thing here. You took an exit to take a shit…then couldn’t find an on-ramp? It’s not Rhode Island’s fault you are dumb as shit and couldn’t drive right back to where you got off the highway. I challenge you to name one exit, and yea, it’s a small state, I know most of them, that doesn’t have a way back on the highway. I also challenge you to put your socks on before your shoes. And if the exit didn’t have an on ramp, I don’t care how bad you had to go, you are just to dumb to look 100 yards in front of you to see if there is a ramp back on. Go back to mass and stay there. 90% of you starred in Flowers for Algernon, minus the meds. Massholes have their name for a reason, thank you for perpetuating it off the road. Not only are you fucking horrible drivers, you have proven that even sitting down at a computer, you are also full of useless bullshit. In reality, there’s no reason for you. Your DNA should have been canceled out a long time ago. Fucking moron. Don’t blame a state because you are bat shit dumb. I don’t drive to Boston because no matter what, 126 is always busy. I went to a Sox game once, and people were looking around like this fucking traffic jam came out of nowhere! You are fucking dumb, with the rest of your state. Everyone is hating Rhode Island, I’m backing it up. Fuck you haters.

  2. hahahahhahaha….

    Thanks, you’ll never know how badly I needed that, and how much I laughed.

    I’m from RI (now don’t yell at me ok, ain’t my fault) But I want you to know, I just spent much of the last several days feeling what you just said. lol I hate RI too! And you don’t know the half of it here. Land mass is great, about a half dozen of the people too, but generally, you never met such a bunch of selfish, self centered corrupt peices of shit as you’ll find here merrily going about falsifying their humanity.
    Fuck Rhode Island!! yea

  3. YA from Boston? fucking people in Boston drive worse then anyone in RI. My dad is from Boston im not hating! BUTTTT… last week i was there and had to leave because i was so fed up wit the stupid ass drivers.. E boston and chelsea… i drive in Nyc all the time so its not the whole city aspect of it either. and whats up with all the damn freaking tolls..

  4. Stay out then,,,tard.

    • Oh, Lance…you think I WANT to ever set foot in the state that is more disgusting than Satan’s colostomy bag?? I’d rather get fingered by Captain Hook. Yet from time to time, I must brave my fears and drive the 11 miles down I-295 to get to CT. If there were an easier way to do it, I would, trust me.

      Until then…if you don’t have anything nice to say, go fuck yourself. This is my blog and I say whatever the fuck I want.

      [I would have deleted this comment, but I wanted to write a snarky reply - hee hee]

  5. the state of rhode island and providence plantation is a perilous pit of death and hate it.

    i am seriously and literally moving over 10,000 miles away just to get the hell out of this void of despair!

    i heart you, so FUCK RHODE ISLAND!

  6. I have to agree RI sucks. But as far as bad drivers they are everywhere, not just RI. I have never been cursed at, beeped at for a wrong move or in a vehicle accident. I also have my CDL First class driver license, which is not easy to get being you have to drive a tractor and trailer through Quonset Point with a state trooper at your side. I have been driving for 30 years. However, does RI suck? Yes it does! I cannot wait to get the hell out. It is a very depressing state.

  7. Wow, to the first comment! I apologize if I missed where you live? Just so much to read. I have to agree with hating RI. I do too. However, I am hoping you get to leave the state soon if you do live here. Way too much hate can be harming to yourself and others. You may be involved some road rage situation real soon. I will never forget when my daughter was driving, this guy cut us off. My daughter made a face and gesture, like what are you thinking. He caught us at a light and put his car to block ours and punched his fist through the windshield. So, to say the least, he needs anger management classes. These people are really everywhere and in every town. Just thought I would share that.

  8. I am from ri and you are absolutly right this state fucking sucks unless your a fucking politition or fucking one they should wipe it off tge fucking map and all the corrupt mother fuckers who run this rotten state

  9. Came across this site by chance. I live in Boston. My bitch ass bitch boss commutes daily from RI to Boston. That this cunt is a Rhode Islander is enough to get me hatin on RI. WTF can’t this tool find a job closer to home? Why must Bostonians suffer? BECAUSE FUCKING RI HAS NO GODDAMN JOBS! So they come to MA and Boston and steal our Goddamn jobs. And they have negative anti-MA, anti-Boston attitudes to boot.

    Come to think of it New Hampsterites are a pain the ass too. These maroons hate MA and MA people too, but love working here! And stop stealing all the Goddamn parking spaces downtown before 7AM. I shouldn’t have to get up at 5AM to compete with some yahoo commuting from NH or RI.

    I swear, if New England as whole didn’t have Boston/Eastern MA, and CT didn’t have NYC, this 6 state region would be worse off than Mississippi economically.

  10. wow, to whoever wrote this.. we should meet, I think you hate RI almost half as much as I do!
    RI = worst place to live in America!

  11. This is amazing.

  12. I hate Rhode Idsland so much, and the ironic thing is I was born here and lived here all my life. All fourteen years. I don’t know why but I am so differen from most Rhode Islanders. Most Rhode Islanders are rude, only lisit to one kind of music usually(rap), and look down on those who listen to different music. Not to mention that a lot grown men and women don’t know how to speak with proper grammer. I am like the only one of my kind in Rhode Island, and I don’t know why. Maybe God just said “hell, why not put in someone unique, open minded, and exceptionaly smart for once”. I know I sound conceded but it the truth, a lot of people here are stupid and rarely do I ever find some like me or somehow different from the rest.

    • Hey Julian…first things first! Your post is hilarious and you make a fantastic point re: Rhode Islanders. That said…I realize that there is an outside chance that you’re NOT joking around, and that this post you left is an ACTUAL post. So if that’s the case, I have the following thoughts to share w/ you (not giving one SHIT about your age).

      I hate to break this to ya kid, but you are exactly the type of Rhode Islander that I cannot fucking stand. First of all, like most native Rhode Islanders you fit the definition of conceited to.the.T! Here you are bragging about being “exceptionaly smart” and you misspell exceptionally. You base your knock on your fellow “Islanders” because most of them listen to rap music. That is one of the dumbest fucking things I have EVER read in my entire life. You are going to grow up and be the typical Rhode Islander so let me just look into my crystal ball for a moment and spare you the drama of the unknown. You probably live in Cranston or Warwick. You will NEVER move away from the city you currently live in, much less RI. You think you’re smarter than everyone else even though you’re probably suffering from a learning disability. You wouldn’t be able to find most other states on a map. You drive with total disregard for other people’s safety let alone your own. Besides being a bad driver, you have ZERO knowledge of the actual rules of the road making you even more dangerous. You are extremely distrustful (bordering on schizophrenic) of anyone you don’t know. You’re probably racist against one or more races other than your own. *Side Note…I moved to New England thinking that it was this socially-progressive region of our nation. Seeing how I am a conservative financially yet progressive socially. Thanks to where I was living just before my move to New England (Jacksonville, Florida), I was looking forward to living in an area that wasn’t soaked in racism. Looking back on those thoughts now, all I can do now is crack up at how much of a joke it is to think that New England is either ahead of most U.S. regions or at the average when it comes to being open to all races. New England…especially Rhode Island…is MORE RACIST than Jacksonville, Florida! At least in the south, racists are open about their beliefs. At least it’s out on the table. Here in RI it’s all closet racism which is a thousand times WORSE than openly racist people. It’s not a white thing or a black thing yadda yadda yadda. No. It’s everyone hates everyone. People with an Italian background cannot stand blacks or the Irish. Irish Catholics can’t stand blacks or Italians. Puerto Ricans can’t stand white people. Blacks can’t stand Italians or most Latinos. And on and on and on it goes!

      So JJ…take this advice. Learn to spell before you brag about yourself! Let me use JJ’s own sentences to prove my point. This little dip shit even speaks on behalf of God when he wrote: Not to mention that a lot grown men and women don’t know how to speak with proper grammer. I am like the only one of my kind in Rhode Island, and I don’t know why. Maybe God just said “hell, why not put in someone unique, open minded, and exceptionaly smart for once”.

  13. I moved to Rhode Island about a year ago from Atlanta and what the fucking shit hell fuck was I thinking? People are fucking RUDE and fucking mean and possibly all semi-retarded. They drive like children with down syndrome and the roads are more than shit, it’s like driving on a constant 3 foot deep pot hole. Theirs about 3 things to do in this piece of shit hell hole and those things include DRINK(to forget that you live in Rhode Island), bitch about Rhode Island and go out “downtown” to pretend like you might have a good time. All of the bars are the same, everyone thinks they’re hot snot on a silver platter but in fact they are cold boogers on a paper plate. The sad thing about it here the the amount of people that think Providence is the best place on earth…Apparently these people were born here and never learned how to travel ANYWHERE. I love how people here pretend they’re SO cultured when in fact they’re all super backwards who care about nothing but themselves.Providence is like being in high school again, it’s super clicky and EVERYONE somehow knows all of your business at all times. FUCK YOU Rhode Island you are officially the worst fucking place I’ve ever lived, and that says a lot because I lived in fucking Alabama.

    And a SUPER FUCK YOU to the insane disgusting amount of Dunkin Donuts and the people who go there. It’s obvious this state lost hope a looong time ago.

  14. Oh and one more thing….

    FUCK YOU:
    -National Grid
    -COX
    -Mobil Exxon
    -Stuck up Brown University Fucks
    -No booze in grocery stores
    -All newspapers and magazines based in Providence. YOU ALL SUCK!
    -Snow
    -Ocean State Job Lot
    -Narragansett Beer
    -UGGS

  15. Good point, Trevor, Rhode Island is so unsophisticated and the people are lame. They think traveling from Providence to Woonsocket is far! There is no culture there and it really gets old after a while. The entire state is so sleazy and corrupt not to mention the high cost of living and lower salaries. I’m glad that I do not live there.

  16. Lol, Boston sucks. Its conservative, poorly planned and feels like a small town. People have no passion for anything and neglect social skills. Providence is way better than the whole state of mass. If you want to go to a real city just visit New York.

  17. I hate MA, no one knows how to merge for crap. Of course, half the RI residents have MA plates, which makes it even worse. MA was the first to force healthcare on everyone, causing the whole country to go to hell because of it. MA drivers think they can change lanes when there is no room. MA drivers think they can drive anywhere and it’s their road. MA residents are too pompous and vote anyone with Kennedy in their last name in, not caring that they don’t have a brain cell.

  18. One thing I can say for mass, we have an abundance of cum guzzling skanks for women. look at the cl ads, lmao.

  19. not sure how i came across this post. you are friggin angry. I would just like to point out that I like RI very much. And I didn’t grow up here. Anyway, you’re free to hate if you like. But your reasons are a bit silly. They are all circumstance and road rage related. I don’t hate MA, while I can’t stand Massholes.

    Give it another try, don’t be hating so much. Although I do hope this angry post helped relieve some of your anger and stress. Cheers.

  20. Everyday I pray that warwick turns into Detroit.

  21. Ryan MacGlaflin

    im from southern Rhode Island, yeah im a swamp yankee and i fucking love it!! fuck all of you. if u got such a big problem with RI stay the fuck out or simply move a way you stupid fuck. its not like we want you massholes and you conneticunts here anyway. All you fucks do is come here during the summer act like a bunch of fucktards, drive like idiots and run over a few motorcyclists. Go to your own beaches and stay in your own fucking states.

  22. Also!!!, from way thefuck over here in Michigan….. FUCK THIS FUCKIN SNOW!!! I Hate this chilly shit! I can’t b-fucking- lieve that I’ve wasted my whole fucking life living here!!! I hate this cold ass shit always freezin up my ass mother fuckin state it totally sucks,and my parents were too stupid to move also!!! Apparently my brain was fucked up by having the same DNA that loves freezing cold-icey nutsack weather like we get here!!! I just fuckin hate it here!! Alright, and all of you in nice warm Florida,….FUCK YOU!!!!

  23. God, how much I agree with you guys. I came to this fuckin state less than year ago for a contract and praying to get the fuck out of this shit hole as soon as it terminates. Every morning when I get out I see those stupid dirty faces with greasy hair on the rest of corpse which looks like had not seen a shower or barber for a fuckin’ year or longer holding a donut and this shitty dunkin piss coffee like they were holding a holy grail. The only thing that keeps me alive here are Irish Pubs where I forget about this God forsaken place having a glass of Guinness which btw is the only tolerable thing here. I swear one I get our of this wolfpack pit, I will never enter this miserable state, ever. I will rather drive fucking thousand miles around to stay away from this state. The fucking rust from local overpasses, dirty stinky old houses makes me feel I have to decontaminate myself one I am out of this fucking place. God I hate RI so much and more every day. Lord, have mercy on me and let me go through this shit and come back to real world soon.

  24. Ri is the dirtbag state.
    Sorry I ever came here.Can’t wait to leave
    Culturally and financially bankrupt.

  25. I moved from MA to RI last year, biggest mistake I ever made

  26. Fed Up with RI

    I moved here to RI from California two years ago. The people here are very clicky and if your not part of their click, they want nothing to do with you. Making new friends here is almost non existent! The people here seem miserable all the time. When I moved here from California I was a very happy go lucky person, saying hi and good morning to people all the time. Rhode Islanders just look at you as if you have a third eye and speed away rushing away from you like you have aids or something. Makes no sense! Girls here are tough to date, if your not their race forget about dating them, they wont even give you the time of day, lots of racist girls and guys here. They don’t say it openly but you can feel it from their stares and always trying to see what your doing being nosy. Very nosy people here. Also there’s allot of fake people out to take what you have here, they will immediately try to be your friend and then work on taking whatever they want from you, a job, money, food, alcohol, once they know you have something better be ready for them to come asking for it or borrow it, or say they ran out and need some of yours and never return anything. Final case in point RI blows big time. Yes nasty Rhode Islanders reading this I will be moving back to California, I am tired of your crap, this place is the arm pit of the United States and reeks of Italian corruption throughout the state. The Italians run this whole state, behind every thing there’s some Italian king pin calling the shots, from famous Buddy Cianci, to all the other crooks this state offers! They get rich and everyone else suffers, and get away with it. But if anyone else does what they do, they go to jail forever, this state is full of hypocrisy and corruption can’t wait to get out, now I know why I left years ago! This time will never be coming back here!

  27. BrianinthebigW

    culturally, politically, morally, financially bankrupt. unemployment is rampant, and welfare payouts to illegals is sky high. doesnt touch the politicians tho just the people I HATE RI. as soon as my wifes elder family members die we are out of here never to return.

  28. I moved from Boston to RI for the cheaper rent, I hate it here too. Fuck RI.

  29. RAYMOND E ST. PIERRE

    i am moving to Connecticut.my house is sold.closing in a few weeks.this is the worst state in the union.i could go on an on.from corruption to unions.look who we elected governor an idiot if i ever saw one.you can not get to the beaches.all private property for the wealthy.the list goes on and on.then there is this 38 studios deal.what a joke.i was born in this state 77 years ago.for a man like me to leave this state at my age you have to be pretty fed up..and i also live in the armpit of RI woonsocket..one third of the people pay taxes and the other 2 thirds of the illegal aliens live on this .well now that my blood pressure went up that is it nice web site thanks

  30. RAYMOND E ST. PIERRE

    why was my comment not published.just as i thought.you are part of the establishment also.thanks any way.RAY

  31. native rhode islander

    Hey blinky godforesaken is a term used for a horrible unllivible place so if rhode islander can live happy in a place most of you cant and just as fine where you live, by theory of natural selection where better then you . And honestly its just a tiny state with bad manners deal with it

  32. In Warwick, Every 95 offramp IS directly next to a 95 onramp. You’d probably have had a better time in the state if you weren’t borderline retarded.

    If you somehow managed to get lost in Warwick then you shouldn’t even bother to leave the house because Helen Keller could navigate her way through this city.

  33. I moved to RI 3.5 years ago from Seattle. I can’t wait to get the fuck out of here. I married a Masshole and I am currently awaiting my escape from this political shitshow AND the shitty drivers. The completion of our house in Mass cannot happen fast enough. I can’t believe how retarded people are here! Every day I see something that makes my jaw drop. Why do people pull out from side streets and parking lots? Do they think that they can block traffic? LEGALLY? If I didn’t have a new car and a baby I would hit these motherfuckers and collect just enough to teach them a lesson. Why do people stop without warning in the middle of a busy street to allow someone in? I should be able to predict what the person in front of me is going to do in order to allow myself time and space to react. That simply is not possible when people constantly do the exact opposite of the rules of the road. Stop yielding to drivers that DO NOT have the right of way. Use the fucking turn lanes for what they are made for – turning and (omfg) merging with traffic. You don’t have to block 2 lanes of traffic, PULL INTO THE TURN LANE AND WAIT FOR AN OPENING IN TRAFFIC! Don’t stop when there isn’t a stop sign. And I’m sorry but just because you’re going faster do not mean you have the right of way in an unmarked intersection or parking lot. One thing I’ve learned in the 3+ years I’ve lived here, avoid low license plate numbers like “P 316″ and “BA 13″ because these are the worst of the worst. I am a little thankful that low license plates are considered highly sought after because really, it’s like a big DANGER – STAY BACK 500 FEET sign.

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