You know, I’m a fairly easy-going girl. I like most things, and will at least try to like most things. But when I hate something, I hate with the fire of a thousand suns.
And I hate Rhode Island.
Basically, every aspect of Rhode Island, and everyone who lives in it, sucks. I regret that I feel this way, since my state shares a border with crummy RI, and I must traverse this tiny, insignificant state whenever I go visit my Mom. I had to drive through it today on my way to Washington, DC for July 4th. Every minute was horrible. HORRIBLE!
Perhaps I should pinpoint the reasons why I hate Rhode Island so much:
1) I left Massachusetts today and as I crossed the border into Rhode Island, it started pouring rain. And not just regular “pouring rain,” it was dumping buckets so hard I couldn’t see in front of me. So there I was, travelling down I-95, the odometer barely creeping up to 30 mph, hazards blinking, straining to see the road signs, yelling “HOLY FUCK” at constant intervals. This went on for half an hour. Needless to say, it wasn’t pretty. FUCK RHODE ISLAND and its crappy weather.
2) Rhode Islanders drive like douchebags. Now, if any of you aren’t from the Northeast, you probably think we’re alldouchebags when we’re behind the wheel of a car. Not true. A “Masshole” is very different from a stupid Rhode Islander. A Masshole thinks his agenda is the most important agenda of everyone on the highway, and will make you feel like an idiot for delaying his arrival to meet his friend at Dunkin’ Donuts, or wherever the fuck he’s going, by speeding past you and maybe cutting you off. A stupid Rhode Islander simply can’t drive — first they tailgate endlessly, then operate their vehicles like they’re having epileptic seizures, and scare the shit out of you. Why, Rhode Islanders? Why can’t you just back the fuck off and chill the fuck out? Because you suck. So FUCK RHODE ISLAND and its crappy drivers.
3) I needed to take a bathroom break, and I was right near Warwick, RI. Not thinking anything of it, I exited the highway and found the nearest fast food joint, used the facilities, and expected to jump right back on the highway. Nope. Wouldn’t you expect the southbound entrance to I-95 to be near where you got off the highway originally? I sure would. But apparently no one in the great state of Rhode Island got that memo. They make you drive all through their crappy town, get stuck at stoplights, and tailgated by their stupid residents, and twenty minutes later you finally stumble upon the highway, miles and miles away from where you got off. Why?? It makes absolutely no sense to me. So FUCK RHODE ISLAND and its illogical highway construction.
Hmm, I’m on a roll here! Well, I am done with reasons why I hate Rhode Island for now, but there are other things I hate:
1) I hate people who go the speed limit in the passing lane [also called the fast lane, or left lane]. It’s called the “passing” lane for a reason — you should be passing the cars to the right of you, not the other way around. Assholes.
2) I hate people who brake on the highway. If you have to brake because the person in front of you slowed down, that means you’re too close. Back the fuck off. Douchebags.
3) I hate New Jersey. Actually, for many of the same reasons I hate Rhode Island. The one redeeming factor is the Jersey Turnpike — like a not-quite-drunk-enough guy screwing an ugly chick, I can get in and out fast.
4) I hate clowns. They creep the shit out of me.
All this hating has made me tired. [Yawn] Good night!
10 responses so far ↓
cmajor7 // July 7, 2008 at 9:55 pm |
You never cease to amaze me.
ted // March 2, 2009 at 7:14 pm |
hahahahhahaha….
Thanks, you’ll never know how badly I needed that, and how much I laughed.
I’m from RI (now don’t yell at me ok, ain’t my fault) But I want you to know, I just spent much of the last several days feeling what you just said. lol I hate RI too! And you don’t know the half of it here. Land mass is great, about a half dozen of the people too, but generally, you never met such a bunch of selfish, self centered corrupt peices of shit as you’ll find here merrily going about falsifying their humanity.
Fuck Rhode Island!! yea
janaury // April 3, 2009 at 5:20 pm |
YA from Boston? fucking people in Boston drive worse then anyone in RI. My dad is from Boston im not hating! BUTTTT… last week i was there and had to leave because i was so fed up wit the stupid ass drivers.. E boston and chelsea… i drive in Nyc all the time so its not the whole city aspect of it either. and whats up with all the damn freaking tolls..
lance // April 3, 2009 at 5:49 pm |
Stay out then,,,tard.
Miss M // April 5, 2009 at 7:04 pm |
Oh, Lance…you think I WANT to ever set foot in the state that is more disgusting than Satan’s colostomy bag?? I’d rather get fingered by Captain Hook. Yet from time to time, I must brave my fears and drive the 11 miles down I-295 to get to CT. If there were an easier way to do it, I would, trust me.
Until then…if you don’t have anything nice to say, go fuck yourself. This is my blog and I say whatever the fuck I want.
[I would have deleted this comment, but I wanted to write a snarky reply - hee hee]
paradigmq // May 15, 2009 at 11:55 pm |
the state of rhode island and providence plantation is a perilous pit of death and hate it.
i am seriously and literally moving over 10,000 miles away just to get the hell out of this void of despair!
i heart you, so FUCK RHODE ISLAND!
Liz // June 14, 2009 at 12:09 pm |
I have to agree RI sucks. But as far as bad drivers they are everywhere, not just RI. I have never been cursed at, beeped at for a wrong move or in a vehicle accident. I also have my CDL First class driver license, which is not easy to get being you have to drive a tractor and trailer through Quonset Point with a state trooper at your side. I have been driving for 30 years. However, does RI suck? Yes it does! I cannot wait to get the hell out. It is a very depressing state.
Liz // June 14, 2009 at 12:23 pm |
Wow, to the first comment! I apologize if I missed where you live? Just so much to read. I have to agree with hating RI. I do too. However, I am hoping you get to leave the state soon if you do live here. Way too much hate can be harming to yourself and others. You may be involved some road rage situation real soon. I will never forget when my daughter was driving, this guy cut us off. My daughter made a face and gesture, like what are you thinking. He caught us at a light and put his car to block ours and punched his fist through the windshield. So, to say the least, he needs anger management classes. These people are really everywhere and in every town. Just thought I would share that.
Ann // August 20, 2009 at 9:49 pm |
I am from ri and you are absolutly right this state fucking sucks unless your a fucking politition or fucking one they should wipe it off tge fucking map and all the corrupt mother fuckers who run this rotten state
John // October 30, 2009 at 6:33 am |
Came across this site by chance. I live in Boston. My bitch ass bitch boss commutes daily from RI to Boston. That this cunt is a Rhode Islander is enough to get me hatin on RI. WTF can’t this tool find a job closer to home? Why must Bostonians suffer? BECAUSE FUCKING RI HAS NO GODDAMN JOBS! So they come to MA and Boston and steal our Goddamn jobs. And they have negative anti-MA, anti-Boston attitudes to boot.
Come to think of it New Hampsterites are a pain the ass too. These maroons hate MA and MA people too, but love working here! And stop stealing all the Goddamn parking spaces downtown before 7AM. I shouldn’t have to get up at 5AM to compete with some yahoo commuting from NH or RI.
I swear, if New England as whole didn’t have Boston/Eastern MA, and CT didn’t have NYC, this 6 state region would be worse off than Mississippi economically.