What’s That Smell?

I am admittedly not the cleanest or neatest person in existence. But I do my best. I vacuum semi-regularly, and tend to clean my bathroom once a week. As far as chores go, I actually enjoy doing laundry. Plus, after many years of scolding by my mother, then more scolding while I was dating my ex, I have learned that washing your dishes right after you are done with them [or putting them directly in the dishwasher] prevents dish back-up and maintains a clean kitchen – appearance-wise, anyway.

And appearance is everything, right?

After all the time I lived alone [three and a half years] and with various other roommate situations [another three], and me being in my mid-twenties now [gasp!], I was surprised at myself when I opened up a cabinet in my kitchen, smelled something horrid, then quickly shut the cabinet door and pretended I smelled nothing. Maybe it’ll go away, I thought. Maybe it just smells bad today, but tomorrow it’ll smell better. I kept going about my business, oblivious to what was happening in my lower kitchen cabinet.

Yesterday, about two weeks after the original sniff of the nastiness, I opened the lower cabinet again. I forgot what I was looking for, but here is what I had stored in there: a glass vase, my Nalgene bottle, seasonal crystal serving dishes, my springform baking pan, a large bag of jasmine rice, an extra supply of cat food, and the pan for my toaster oven.

Oh, right, and potatoes. A couple bags of potatoes.

Wait a minute, I thought. When was the last time I bought potatoes?

Answering my own question, I remembered it was when I was with my ex.

Incidentally, we had been broken up four months to the day.

Then it all clicked. There were two, four-month old bags of potatoes in my lower kitchen cabinet. Oh. My. God. I found the source of the smell.

What I saw next I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.

Moving the glass vase and toaster oven tray out of the way, I saw them.

Maggots.

Wriggling little white worms of a disgusting proportion. I held my scream, stepped back, and contemplated how to attack this situation. After a moment of chastising myself for my kitchen neglect, I put on my big girl panties and began emptying the cabinet to gain better access to the rotten potatoes. Maggot juice dripped on the floor as I quickly moved them and their food source to the garbage. I sprayed the entire cabinet with cleaner, and once I bagged up the trash, I continued on with my day – eating breakfast of eggs sunny-side up and toast, showering for work, then heading out.

I’m still surprised I got my breakfast down. Must have been because of my big girl panties.