The Truth.

So, I’e been doing a lot of soul-searching lately. This might come as a shock, but…

I think I’m gay.

I say “think” because it softens the “I’m gay” part of that statement. But I’m pretty sure about this.

There were signs. Many, many signs. But, naively, I convinced myself that most other – if not all – straight women fantasize about having sex with their hot female classmates, too. Or that being turned on by thinking of two women together [as opposed to a man and a woman] was completely normal. Or that even saying, “I could date a woman. I could probably go down on a woman. I don’t see a problem with this,” is something that other heterosexual women say. Or that whole “I have a girlfriend” thing doesn’t really make me gay. [But it really kinda does.]

Yeah…delusional much?

It’s just interesting that it took a chance meeting at a lesbian club and R’s presence in my life to help me put all the pieces together. And it’s even more interesting that while I was very okay with admitting I have a girlfriend, it’s quite…scary…saying all this now. But it’s how I feel. Being in a relationship with a woman is so much more fulfilling to me than any guy I’ve been with – or any guy I could ever be with.

So that’s it.