In Another Life, Part II

Editing – take 1!

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I walked upstairs. I pulled gray pants out of my bag and changed clothes, and sat on the edge of the bed. She walked in.
I just want you to see where I’m coming from.
I do see where you’re coming from. I really do. I think you don’t understand where I’m coming from.
I just want you to trust me. It hurts me that you don’t. And I made myself that promise and I’m not going to let it happen again, or we’re done.
I lay back on the bed and covered my face with my hands.
I think you’d rather be at your mom’s right now. I don’t think you want to be here.
Why do you say that?
She walked out of the room. I could leave. It was getting late, and was another hour and a half to Connecticut. I could stay, and just sweep it all under the rug, and end it in the morning. Ending it now would make it a difficult night’s sleep. She walked back in.
Hey, are you mad at me?
Why would I be mad?
I just don’t want you to be mad.
I’m fine.
Do you wanna watch TV?
Yeah.
She sat on the bed beside me, and put her arms around me. We fumbled with the three different remotes until the television came on. I picked a show on Comedy Central, starring Demetri Martin. I giggled.
This guy’s a fucking tool.
I think he’s funny.
Girls probably think he’s hot and wanna fuck him but he’s got ugly hair and he’s a stupid piece of shit. Sarah Silverman is better.
Okay, then change it.
No, whatever. We’ll just watch this.
But you apparently hate it. So change it.
I put the remote on her lap.
No, I don’t care. We can watch this.
She put it back on mine. I picked up the remote and changed the channel to Food Network. Alton Brown’s show.
Ugh, this guy sucks.
But you liked him when we watched that show a couple months ago.
Whatever.
Okay, fine. Pick whatever you want.
I put the remote back on her lap.
We can put it back to Comedy Central.
No, you hated it.
I was just joking.
Well, I don’t wanna watch it anymore.
Why?
You ruined it, I thought.
It’s cool. Watch whatever you want.
I sighed, and closed my eyes.
Are you sleeping?
I’m resting. What’s up?
I just wanna talk to you.
What about?
I dunno. I just want you to be cute like you usually are.
Okay…well, we were just talking a lot earlier and things were weird, so I was hoping we could just lie here and chill and watch TV and be quiet.
I just wanna talk to you for a little while, but you don’t wanna talk to me.
No, it’s not that. I just need to chill out for a bit.
Can you just talk to me?
About what?
Just tell me what’s going on.
I lay on the bed quietly, gathering my words correctly.
You can tell me.
I paused.
You can tell me. You don’t love me anymore, do you?
I do love you. It’s just…things have…changed.
Since when?
The last week or so.
Yeah, I know this week was weird. I was pushing you away because I thought you were being weird.
I know.
Is it about the drinking thing?
Well, that didn’t help.
Because if that’s what caused this, I’ll never forgive myself. This is exactly what I didn’t want to happen. Shit.
I picked up the remote and turned the volume down.
It’s not your fault. You were great. You were so great to me.
You only thought you loved me because I’m so nice.
No. All the things I said were real.
Halloween was, like, the best memory I ever had.
I know. Me too. It was real. I promise.
We both started to cry. I put my head on her shoulder, my arm across her stomach. Tears rolled off my cheeks, and she wiped them away.
Shit. Who’s gonna take you to the airport?
I dunno. I guess I’ll just call a cab.
Ugh, dammit. What about Memorial Day? I already paid the deposit on the condo.
I dunno. You can take someone else.
But I only wanted to go with you.
Well, maybe you’ll be dating someone else by then.
I’m not gonna be dating anyone for a long time. I don’t want anyone but you. And even if I’m messing around with someone, I don’t wanna spend all that money on them. I only wanna go with you.
Well, maybe we can be friends by then.
Maybe. How long were you gonna wait to tell me all this?
Another week or so. I really wanted things to work out. I did. I just knew something was wrong. And I waited because I didn’t want it to be true. I didn’t. I really, really didn’t. But there was just something wrong. And I’m so sorry. I hate that I hurt you.
I’m not gonna stop loving you. Just know that.
She sighed.
Maybe in another life, she said.
Yeah. Maybe.