Based in Boston.

Entries categorized as ‘Randomness’

Right Now.

June 14, 2009 · 2 Comments

I just love chocolate-covered pretzels. 

And herbed goat cheese.

And most foods that don’t involve: mustard, mushrooms, or strange meats/animal innards. 

Oh, and also: Brussels sprouts can go fuck themselves. Hate those things. 

Everything else food-wise is [probably] fair game. Especially chocolate-covered pretzels. 

Tangent: I’m tired of writing about dating. So I think I am going to stop. Brief wrap-up [for the three of you who actually care]: Still at square one. Realizing more and more I am “difficult” to deal with – don’t put up with bullshit, and have no qualms with telling dudes as such. Should probably just move to the left coast and start over. Again.

That’s it.

Categories: Randomness
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Walden Pond

June 12, 2009 · 2 Comments

I went to Walden Pond today and tried to channel Thoreau. I didn’t end up writing at all, but I brought along my charcoal pencils and decided to try to draw some crappy pictures. They ended up not being terrible. Well, not that terrible – not as terrible as I thought they’d be. Amazingly, I got a bit of perspective in the wall drawing. Surprised me. And thus, I will probably leave my charcoals at home from now on and stick with pen and paper. Why try to top something that isn’t perfection but you know you can’t really do better??

Row 1: (L to R) My tree; the actual tree I was trying to draw; the tree, edited in iPhoto.

Row 2: (L to R) My stone wall; the actual stone wall I was trying to draw; the stone wall edited in iPhoto.

The photos turned out really well – even though they were just with my iPhone. It was a fun day, and nice to visit the pond.

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WordPress is pretty awesome.

May 18, 2009 · 1 Comment

Just found out that I can email blog posts. Wanted to test it out – here’s a photo of my Saturday afternoon last week…

photo

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If I were in a band…

April 11, 2009 · Leave a Comment

I found this neat website that tells you how to randomly create a band name, album title and album artwork. So I spent some time making a few different options:

Experimental album from Chicago-based punk band The World's Desire.

Experimental album from Chicago-based punk band The World's Desire.

 

SoCal indie band Nisshin Station's attempt at mainstream fame with the album "You do not understand."

SoCal indie band Nisshin Station's attempt at mainstream fame with the album "You do not understand."

 

German pop-duo Eußerthal's debut album.

German pop-duo Eußerthal's debut album.

 Completely random that all the artwork I got was black and white…

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Confessions.

April 9, 2009 · 2 Comments

I love being outside on sunny days, like today. It’s 54, with a breeze off the harbor. I’m wearing pants and a short-sleeved shirt, trying to get a little sun on my winter-pale arms and chest. It’s a little too chilly to be sitting, shoes off, here in the sun – maybe I look like an insane person, but honestly, I don’t fucking care. It’s April and I am sick of winter. My wool coats have been hidden back in the recesses of the guest closet for almost a month now. After St. Patrick’s Day, I refused to wear them again. And here I will sit, with goosebumps, the sun reflecting off the harbor, and I will imagine I’m in Hawaii.

I might have an overwhelming personality. My friend told me that a guy told her friend she was “overwhelming”…then she told me that I was similar to this other friend. I said that no one has ever called me “overwhelming,” but that thought made me pause. I’ve heard that I have a “big” personality and I’m “intimidating,” but I guess “overwhelming” is a subjective adjective. I’m hoping that maybe I can keep my personality to just “whelming,” minus the “over” part. People like being “whelmed,” right? I mean, sounds fun to me…

I don’t like uniforms. I saw some young girls running down the hall of my college the other day. They all wore pale yellow sweaters and navy shorts or pants. I don’t know why they were running, but I noticed their uniforms. This got me thinking about institutions that make their students, employees, or captives wear the same clothes as everyone else. Why is that? I think it has something to do with keeping people oppressed so they won’t act like individuals, and will conform to group behavior. I don’t study social psychology – I have more of a cognitive/neuroscience bent to my interests – but from the one social psych class I took, this seems like a likely reason. Who wears uniforms? Prisoners [and, conversely, prison guards], public servants [police, firemen], some employees of companies [but mostly in positions that are of lower class, like janitors], Catholic school children, or kids in some private schools. If I think about it, I can come up with reasons why all these people wear uniforms, and the reasons will be different for each group:

- Prisoners & prison guards: to distinguish who is the captive versus who is the captor, and determine the power structure based on these uniforms

- Public servants: to distinguish them in times of crisis or emergency; also, for intimidation sake [or did intimidation at the sight of a uniformed police officer come after one was accustomed to the power exerted by such a person?]

- Some lower-class employees: to distinguish them as lower-class, especially if the other employees don’t have a uniform, or wear suits

- Catholic schoolchildren: to make them feel the same and suppress individuality

- Private schoolchildren: same as Catholic schoolchildren, but also to make sure the class photos at the end of the year look nice

I partially blame myself for the fact that guys don’t ask girls on dates anymore. I’ve interacted with tons of men, yet I haven’t been on a real date in months – since December, actually. Maybe it’s my fault for letting that happen and “interacting” with them without any sort of formal courting. And I actually do want to be courted. I suppose I should insist that I be courted before any sort of romantic shenanigans ensue. Though I haven’t actually met anyone lately that I want to court me…

I often hope, that if I let a car with their turn signal on go in front of me, that the Traffic Gods will smile upon me and I will be granted good car karma. Though every time I get cut-off, I think that maybe it only works that way in my head and not in real life – and I have determined that I am in my own little world most of the time. Still. Letting someone into my lane of traffic, or pausing to let them pull out of a driveway into an especially trafficked road, makes me feel like a better person. And I guess that’s what counts!

I haven’t done my taxes yet – and am seriously considering filing an extension. I’ve done it before.

I just registered for my second-to-last semester of college – and I’m afraid I won’t actually graduate. I’ll be a credit short of completing my BS requirements, or I won’t pass calculus, or something. I’m also afraid of what is going to happen after I do hypothetically graduate.

I wish I was a little bit taller. I wish I was a baller.

 

Categories: Randomness
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The Comedogenesis

April 6, 2009 · 2 Comments

My friend and I were at breakfast today, and, as usual, I said something goofy – and, as usual, she replied, “You’re so funny.” She says that often to me – probably because I like to make her laugh, and tend to usually succeed when trying to do so.

I asked her why I was so funny. “I dunno – you’re just funny,” she answered.

Then the thought of the origin of my comedy skills popped into mind. I thought of these beginnings, and made a note to write about it later. Comedy genesis is what I typed into my iPhone. Then I thought of the word comedogenesis. ‘Wow,’ I thought, ‘I made up a fucking awesome new word.’

Quasi-Related Tangent: Just now, I Googled comedogenesis. As it turns out, it has nothing to do with a sense of humor. At all. Here’s an article about it from the British Journal of Dermatology. As I read over this, I realized, yes, of course – on the packaging of make-up and skin care products is usually written “non-comedogenic.” It means that it won’t clog your pores and cause acne. I guess that can be funny…as long as the acne is not on you…

Back to the story.

I thought it would be worthwhile to tell my friend how I became to be the goofy, funny, wanna-be comedian that I am today. And also, it’d be worthwhile to write about it.

It all started when I was in middle school. I was a nerd – complete with huge, crappy bangs, thick glasses, goofy clothes, and buck teeth that later were covered in metal braces. Basically, I was a disaster. No one wanted to be my friend. I was a total outcast. Other students only talked to me when they needed help with their science homework – or if they were calling me “nerd” or “eager beaver.” Ahh, kids are so cruel. But don’t worry, I’m not permanently scarred or anything…[single tear]

Anyway, I was on the Math Counts team and the Science Olympiad team, so at least I had my brains going for me. But I’m not sure there’s anything else I can say to reiterate how terribly, awfully geeky I was. Then, in eighth grade, I was put into the advanced math class – algebra. I was seated at a cluster table with several other girls. Throughout the course of the year, they started talking to and hanging out with me. Finally, some friends! I would make flower rings out of clay and bring them in to share with the algebra girls, and have “lucky” sand frogs that sat on our desks. [Very bizarre, I know. It was 1996 – what do you expect?]

One night, one of the girls has a backyard camp out, and I was invited. We set up the tent, and got down to the business of camping…in a yard. I don’t remember many of the details – I can’t recall if we had S’mores, what color my sleeping bag was, if there were bugs – but I do remember the most important events of the evening.

At one point, I stood up and began.

Began what, you ask?

I began…to entertain.

Now, entertaining wasn’t completely new for me. As a child, I was quite adorable and cute, always making my mom and family members laugh at my adorableness. [This was before the “busted years” that were the entirety of middle school, by the way.] My mom still tells a story of how one time I came out of the bathroom after a shower wearing my white terry-cloth robe [an essential in my bath time wardrobe since I was a youngster still in single-digit ages] and, holding the ties, one in each hand, silently and with a completely deadpan expression, proceeded to flap them around like they were nun chucks and say, “Fwah fwah fwah!” [insert kung fu soundtrack here]. She actually told that story to my friends when she was here celebrating my 26th birthday. I could only guess ‘The Fwah Fwah Incident’ happened when I was around ten years old.

In the tent with the algebra girls, however, I did no kung fu. I created, on the spot, a series of characters – each with different voices, personalities, desires, attitudes – and did my best improv stand-up routine. Wayne Brady would have been proud of the nerdy little 14-year old girl standing in a tent in a backyard in North Carolina that night. If my memory serves me correctly, I did impressions of a ghetto chick, a foreign [maybe French?] woman, and a slut who nailed used condoms to her wall. Apparently, my disgusting sense of humor had just developed – or I had been learning a lot in my sex ed class. There were other impersonations, I know – but the decade and a half of time has made my memory fade too quickly […or was it all that drinking?]

The day turned to dusk, then to night, as I pretended to be these characters I created. I told their stories, and when I was tired, I finally stopped. The result of these characterizations?

Laughter, and pure, unadulterated joy from the algebra girls. I’m pretty sure one of them peed herself a little bit.

I was so happy to make them laugh with such side-splitting, gut-busting, knee-slapping eruptions. This was the defining moment when I realized that, nerd or not, if you’re funny, people will like you.

I’ve carried this lesson throughout my entire life ever since. And when the braces finally came off, when I traded my Coke-bottle glasses for contacts, when I let the bangs grow out and got some snazzier new clothes – I was still that same nerd, but people were less apt to judge me by my appearance. And if they did, I’d tell a joke. And then they’d laugh. And then we would be friends [98% of the time, anyway…I still meet some bitch-faced girls that I wouldn’t waste a Kenny Bania joke on - “It’s gold, Jerry. Gold!”].

So here we are. I’m 26 years old now. And I’m still the nerd who Googles comedogenesis and actually knows what the journal article is trying to say. And I still have glasses, but they’re kind of hip and cute. And I still tell jokes to make friends – and keep them.

And I always will.

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
~ E.E. Cummings

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Best birthday ever.

April 2, 2009 · 2 Comments

It certainly was.

Lunch. Pedicures. Margaritas. Great friends. Fajitas. Laughter. Tequila shots. Vagina jokes. More margaritas. My friend trying to sneak onto the T without paying. Pictures. Magner’s. Cheetos. Passing out in bed.

One year older – none the wiser. Still scratching my head at the strangeness that is men. Ah, maybe “Why do men do what they do?” is just one of life’s great unanswerable questions – like how many grains of sand are on all the beaches in the entire world? 

Whatever. I still had an awesome birthday, surrounded by tons of awesome friends. And I should keep that in mind when I’m having shitty days – there are lots of people who love me. 

And I am included in that list.

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The first anniversary of my 25th birthday.

March 31, 2009 · 1 Comment

So I’ve been 26 yeas old for…33 minutes.

And you know what I’m doing?

Lying in bed, with a bag of Cheetos, checking my Facebook for new birthday wishes, preparing to watch last week’s episodes of 30 Rock and The Office.

Sounds lame, I know. But I’m hoping that in my new birthday outfit tomorrow – complete with platform slingbacks – I’ll have an AWESOME evening drinking and dining with friends. Hopefully it’ll be so awesome that I only remember parts of it, and have to use photos and stories of shenanigans to reassemble the pieces.

Happy motherfucking birthday to me!

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I like to think I’m funny.

March 10, 2009 · 1 Comment

But maybe I’m not. Maybe I am just loud, and swear, and people only laugh at me because they are so uncomfortable, and are afraid if they don’t laugh, I’ll beat them. Which is very likely true. Nevertheless, at one point I had this misguided idea that I could be a comedian [or comedienne, whatever], so I wrote some jokes a few years back. I stumbled across them tonight. They are worth posting for the sheer awfulness of them.

Although those of you who know me could probably see me saying these and seriously believing that I am, in fact, kind of hilarious

Well, you be the judge.

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Crappy Jokes About “Things I Never Understood”:

I never understood those people who feel the need to remind you of everything, even obvious shit. I was going out west last year and EVERYONE I told said, “Ooh, don’t forget to take pictures!” I thought, “Oh wow! What a great idea! I never even thought of that. I was planning on bringing my easel and painting a watercolor landscape of the Grand Canyon while I was there, but photographs! That makes more sense. More portable. Thanks for the tip.”

I never understood those people who think everything is a competition. “My birthday is March 31st.” “Oh yeah? My half-sister’s neighbor’s best friend is a doctor and HIS is the 29th.” What, so is he better because he’s a doctor or because he beat me coming out of his mom’s vagina? Or sometimes you talk to someone and you might mention how you were sick, and they just HAVE to one-up you. “Oh man, I was so sick yesterday.” “Oh yeah? I was throwing up while simultaneously having explosive diarrhea and THEN my plant died.” What can you say to top that? Nothing beats bodily fluids coming out of two orifices at the same time.

I never understood the saying, “You can’t have your cake and eat it, too.” Well, you can’t eat cake if you don’t have it, but if you have it but don’t eat it, what’s the point? It’s just gonna sit there and mold. The shelf life of cake isn’t that long. Why is being an adult so HARD?!

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Sorry for that. I hope you realize you’ll never get back that five minutes of life you just wasted reading those.

Categories: Randomness · Writing & Poetry
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Fuck my life.

December 15, 2008 · 4 Comments

It’s winter. I’m pale. I’m fat, having eaten my weight in Little Debbie Christmas tree cakes in the last 3 days. The sun sets at 4-ish. I’m all set to hibernate. It’s that time of the month, so I feel gross and bloated. I officially hate New England winters.

Other than that depressing-ness, everything else is also shitty. I didn’t get into the advanced poetry class at my school that I really, really wanted to be in. I also didn’t get a teaching assistant position that I also really, really wanted. So I’m going to stop trying to get things, because obviously I suck at everything. Whatever.

This is a really depressing post! Yet I’ll go on!

There is NO ONE that I like. All the guys at my school suck and I apparently can’t meet anyone in real life anymore. Is it because I’m pale and fat now? I hate winter.

I hate myself and my life today.

Whatever.

So in conclusion:
1) I hate everything.
2) Whatever.
3) Fuck my life.

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