Based in Boston.

Entries tagged as ‘friends’

The Comedogenesis

April 6, 2009 · 2 Comments

My friend and I were at breakfast today, and, as usual, I said something goofy – and, as usual, she replied, “You’re so funny.” She says that often to me – probably because I like to make her laugh, and tend to usually succeed when trying to do so.

I asked her why I was so funny. “I dunno – you’re just funny,” she answered.

Then the thought of the origin of my comedy skills popped into mind. I thought of these beginnings, and made a note to write about it later. Comedy genesis is what I typed into my iPhone. Then I thought of the word comedogenesis. ‘Wow,’ I thought, ‘I made up a fucking awesome new word.’

Quasi-Related Tangent: Just now, I Googled comedogenesis. As it turns out, it has nothing to do with a sense of humor. At all. Here’s an article about it from the British Journal of Dermatology. As I read over this, I realized, yes, of course – on the packaging of make-up and skin care products is usually written “non-comedogenic.” It means that it won’t clog your pores and cause acne. I guess that can be funny…as long as the acne is not on you…

Back to the story.

I thought it would be worthwhile to tell my friend how I became to be the goofy, funny, wanna-be comedian that I am today. And also, it’d be worthwhile to write about it.

It all started when I was in middle school. I was a nerd – complete with huge, crappy bangs, thick glasses, goofy clothes, and buck teeth that later were covered in metal braces. Basically, I was a disaster. No one wanted to be my friend. I was a total outcast. Other students only talked to me when they needed help with their science homework – or if they were calling me “nerd” or “eager beaver.” Ahh, kids are so cruel. But don’t worry, I’m not permanently scarred or anything…[single tear]

Anyway, I was on the Math Counts team and the Science Olympiad team, so at least I had my brains going for me. But I’m not sure there’s anything else I can say to reiterate how terribly, awfully geeky I was. Then, in eighth grade, I was put into the advanced math class – algebra. I was seated at a cluster table with several other girls. Throughout the course of the year, they started talking to and hanging out with me. Finally, some friends! I would make flower rings out of clay and bring them in to share with the algebra girls, and have “lucky” sand frogs that sat on our desks. [Very bizarre, I know. It was 1996 – what do you expect?]

One night, one of the girls has a backyard camp out, and I was invited. We set up the tent, and got down to the business of camping…in a yard. I don’t remember many of the details – I can’t recall if we had S’mores, what color my sleeping bag was, if there were bugs – but I do remember the most important events of the evening.

At one point, I stood up and began.

Began what, you ask?

I began…to entertain.

Now, entertaining wasn’t completely new for me. As a child, I was quite adorable and cute, always making my mom and family members laugh at my adorableness. [This was before the “busted years” that were the entirety of middle school, by the way.] My mom still tells a story of how one time I came out of the bathroom after a shower wearing my white terry-cloth robe [an essential in my bath time wardrobe since I was a youngster still in single-digit ages] and, holding the ties, one in each hand, silently and with a completely deadpan expression, proceeded to flap them around like they were nun chucks and say, “Fwah fwah fwah!” [insert kung fu soundtrack here]. She actually told that story to my friends when she was here celebrating my 26th birthday. I could only guess ‘The Fwah Fwah Incident’ happened when I was around ten years old.

In the tent with the algebra girls, however, I did no kung fu. I created, on the spot, a series of characters – each with different voices, personalities, desires, attitudes – and did my best improv stand-up routine. Wayne Brady would have been proud of the nerdy little 14-year old girl standing in a tent in a backyard in North Carolina that night. If my memory serves me correctly, I did impressions of a ghetto chick, a foreign [maybe French?] woman, and a slut who nailed used condoms to her wall. Apparently, my disgusting sense of humor had just developed – or I had been learning a lot in my sex ed class. There were other impersonations, I know – but the decade and a half of time has made my memory fade too quickly […or was it all that drinking?]

The day turned to dusk, then to night, as I pretended to be these characters I created. I told their stories, and when I was tired, I finally stopped. The result of these characterizations?

Laughter, and pure, unadulterated joy from the algebra girls. I’m pretty sure one of them peed herself a little bit.

I was so happy to make them laugh with such side-splitting, gut-busting, knee-slapping eruptions. This was the defining moment when I realized that, nerd or not, if you’re funny, people will like you.

I’ve carried this lesson throughout my entire life ever since. And when the braces finally came off, when I traded my Coke-bottle glasses for contacts, when I let the bangs grow out and got some snazzier new clothes – I was still that same nerd, but people were less apt to judge me by my appearance. And if they did, I’d tell a joke. And then they’d laugh. And then we would be friends [98% of the time, anyway…I still meet some bitch-faced girls that I wouldn’t waste a Kenny Bania joke on - “It’s gold, Jerry. Gold!”].

So here we are. I’m 26 years old now. And I’m still the nerd who Googles comedogenesis and actually knows what the journal article is trying to say. And I still have glasses, but they’re kind of hip and cute. And I still tell jokes to make friends – and keep them.

And I always will.

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter.
~ E.E. Cummings

Categories: Randomness
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Best birthday ever.

April 2, 2009 · 2 Comments

It certainly was.

Lunch. Pedicures. Margaritas. Great friends. Fajitas. Laughter. Tequila shots. Vagina jokes. More margaritas. My friend trying to sneak onto the T without paying. Pictures. Magner’s. Cheetos. Passing out in bed.

One year older – none the wiser. Still scratching my head at the strangeness that is men. Ah, maybe “Why do men do what they do?” is just one of life’s great unanswerable questions – like how many grains of sand are on all the beaches in the entire world? 

Whatever. I still had an awesome birthday, surrounded by tons of awesome friends. And I should keep that in mind when I’m having shitty days – there are lots of people who love me. 

And I am included in that list.

Categories: Randomness
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A Haphazard Shot In The Dark.

March 10, 2009 · 3 Comments

So, some of you may be happy to know – I have somewhat of a “guy situation.” Sort of. But not really. It’s more like, I randomly met this awesome guy through a joke Craigslist ad [in the W4M section] that I wrote with my friend, which he responded to. He wrote that he was new to town, our ad “stood out” and he could only imagine the douches that responded to it – I replied that he had no idea [we got several dick pics and offers for threesomes - yeah...], and I asked where was he from. When he said he spent some time in college in North Carolina, I was immediately hooked. We exchanged tons of hilarious emails, which turned into hilarious texts, then phone calls [mostly drunken - and yes, I saved his voicemail and listened to it, easily, 40 times. I know. I know...] Then I invited him to hang out with me and my friends on our normal Thursday night party night – and after a series of unsuccessful attempts, he finally came. And it was great. He is awesome, and funny as shit. Did I mention also adorable? I didn’t? Oh. Well, he’s very attractive. And tall. And really, really funny as shit, which was really sealed the deal for me. He makes me think harder – and I haven’t met someone who gave me such a mental workout in…well…maybe I never have. 

Bad news: He has a “lady situation” back in NC. But it’s cool. I wasn’t bugging about it then, and I’m still not. I would ask him over gchat sometimes to tell me about her, and he always just said it’s a “mess” wouldn’t say much else. Finally one Friday night, under the influence of a ton of alcohol, I prodded further and he finally answered. He said things were kind of a “mess” and he wasn’t sure what was going on – she lives so far away and is still finishing her program in school. But it was apparent to me that he has strong enough feelings for her to keep this up, even though they only started dating a few months before he moved to Boston. And I totally respect that. They want to give it – whatever it is – a chance, and that’s really not something I want to get in the middle of. 

But he still wants to hang out with me, and we have hung out several times now. He texts, IMs, or emails every other day or so – mostly random stuff. Like YouTube videos, or something funny he saw. Something that, obviously, made him think of me – something that he thought I would think is funny. And I do. We have the similar gross, vulgar sense of humor. He must like me at least somewhat – he would have stopped talking to me long ago if he didn’t.

In recent weeks, I have come to the realization that I have a big personality. Sometimes I think it’s too big, and maybe frightens guys [and people in general] away from me. Especially those kinds of people that are insecure. Because, aside from the random moments of self-doubt [usually associated with my menstrual cycle or the lousy Boston weather], I am becoming more and more “at home” in my head as time goes by. I am who I am, and I can’t change it – and fuck, I wouldn’t want to change it, anyway. I’m pretty bad-ass – fuck you if you don’t agree.

I also like saying “fuck.” That probably also scares away those who have sensitive ears to vulgarity.

Anyway, my point is that I have come to the realization that it is going to be a long time before I find a guy who is strong enough to be able to not only put up with me, but can dish it back – in the form of humor and wit, and self-confidence. Since I have been single now officially a year – and in the past year, have only had three guys make it past one date, and one guy make it past two dates – obviously I haven’t met anyone who can handle me.  

Until I met this guy. He could totally handle me. And could actually probably maybe…make me happy. Or give me a run for my money. Or something.

So here I am, friends with an awesome, hilarious, cute guy – who is amazing on paper – but who isn’t really available. And you know, that is okay. The more I think about where I am in my life, I don’t think I’m really available, either. The more I think about it, I’m still kind of behind that big wall I built a few months [a year?] ago, in hiding. And I can’t find a fucking sledgehammer.

The more I think about it…I’m not sure I want to find the sledgehammer.

Maybe it’s not my job to, anyway. Maybe that’s his job. Whoever he is. Whenever the time is right. And now…well, now is just not the right time. In the meantime, I’ll be his friend, and I’ll enjoy every fucking second of it. 

And I will not, under any circumstances, over-think the nice things he does for me [like try to get me concert tickets to a show he knows I would like] or take the following quotes taken directly from his email to me as some message that it’s “fate” that we met so randomly through a ridiculous website, out of all the people in Boston, out of all the people in the entire world…:

“Your ad stood out and I could just imagine the kind of responses it got…Your motive for writing your ad is essentially my motive for responding to it: kind of a haphazard shot in the dark for no other reason than we’re bored and we can.  Kinda rad…”

Categories: Relationships...Or Lack Thereof
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Bad Thoughts

October 23, 2008 · 1 Comment

Lately, I’ve been all committed to myself, and it’s great. I’m running, and pretending to study, and doing my own thing. Awesome.

And then…I start thinking about…someone…someone I probably shouldn’t. It’s pointless, as he isn’t available, so we’re just friends. Plus, the nature of our interaction is…complicated. But there’s definitely something there. He said it, I said it. It’s pretty annoying, actually. And there’s nothing I can do.

But I keep…thinking…

And I wish I could stop it.

We’re friends. Friends. Yeah. Friends is good.

Categories: Relationships...Or Lack Thereof
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Drunk Again…

July 5, 2008 · Leave a Comment

I’m drunk. Again. Seems a regular occurrance in the life of Miss M. Oh well.

I am in Washington, D.C., visiting some of my best friends from high school. We are approaching our ten-year friend-aversary. Corny, I know. But it’s the truth — we’ve known each other since high school. They are amazing, gorgeous, brilliant women, and I feel like a better person just being around them. OK, enough of that sappy shit.

We went to Millie & Al’s tonight, and with the help of Marcus, our bartender, we all got fairly wasted. I sit here now, in a semi-drunken stupor. Not anything like last night, but I guess every night can’t be ridiculous. Tonight was crazy enough, between M & A’s, Tom Tom, and Jumbo Slice, to satisfy that late-night pizza craving most drunk folks experience.

I know, drunking doesn’t equal personality. But it sure is fun. What else do I have going on lately? Exactly. Nothing. Drink it up, bitches.

I definitely was a late-bloomer. When I was 21, and everyone else I knew was binging 3-4 nights a week, I was going home early, because I had work in the morning. I didn’t party then. But now, at 25, I finally came around and realized how fun it can be. It’s not always awesome, but with my best friends in the world, a belly full of Malaysian food and alcohol, what fun time it can be!

OK. It’s time to pass out. Happy July 4th, y’all. G’night…

Categories: Drink Drank Drunk
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