More Threesome Invites.

This time it was a dude and his male roommate. They wanted an Eiffel Tower.

[ahem.]

I repeat: dude and HIS MALE roommate.

I repeat: Eiffel Tower.

WTF??

What about me screams “freak nasty?” Seriously. I get more comments that people are surprised that the word “fuck” comes out of my mouth. “You just look so wholesome!” they say. Or, “You’re just a sweet Southern belle!” they offer. Well, thanks, but erroneous! Erroneous on both accounts! That is quite far from true. But still…Eiffel Tower? Really? Me?! C’mon. The chick and her boyfriend had a much better shot, and that still never happened.

Best part is, I gave him my number. The three of us actually had lunch on Saturday, and all they talked about was this hypothetical threesome situation. They then explained that it was all a joke, haha, isn’t that funny? OK, I felt more at ease. But then the Dude kept texting me this evening, about what I was getting him for his birthday [which is actually today], saying very lewd things via text, propositioning me. Don’t get me wrong, I like a good dirty text, but I DON’T EVEN KNOW YOU. WHY are you doing this?? And keep insisting on the Eiffel Tower??

It stopped being funny after the first eighty times you mentioned it. Grow the fuck up. Gahhh.

Boys are so moronic.

Update.

I’ve been vegan and alcohol-free for four whole days now. Crazy.

So that means no more*:

- drunken make-outs/hook-ups

- drunkenly being asked to be in a threesome, because, “We like you. We think you’re strong enough to handle it…to be the guest star.”

- drunken photo texts from guys…with pictures of their dicks

- crawling on my hands and knees to vomit in my friends’ bathroom, only to be mercilessly slagged by them the next day [and they're all guys, so that's ALL I HEAR from them]

- meat, cheese, milk, ice cream, eggs, candy…so basically I’ve been eating rice and vegetables

-fun.

Twenty-six more days, and I’ll be back with a vengeance.

* This was just a brief recap of my August. Yeah. That’s how I roll.